Why does love hurt so much?

No matter how much I try to make you happy, I land up hurting you.

Forgive & Forget, trying to

Something just keeps coming back

something that may not be entirely true..

I try not to cry

I want to be brave

but each time we fight

I am closer to the grave

If it's so bad

why is it good too??

only love can make you happy

and hurt too

The Secret behind Paulo Coelho and Dan Brown

Several years ago when I read “The Alchemist” there was one line which struck me hard, the idea that if you really want something the entire Universe conspires to get that to you. An amazing thought, a powerful tool, I have seen popular renditions of this belief, be it the Bollywood movie 'Om Shanti Om'.

2 years ago when Dan Brown’s much awaited novel “The Lost Symbol” released, I read it too hungrily, not imparting the justice that I should have in terms of time I spent, to comprehend its entirety. So when I read it again, enjoying every word of it like a sip of my morning chai, it did open up new vistas. The book deals with Noetic science, a not so famous discipline, which promotes measurement of thoughts.  If each thought can be measured, several of such thoughts will possess the authority to enforce a change. Food for thought I must admit.

And while I am reading Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret”, I realize that it echoes something similar.

“The Secret is the law of attraction!

Everything that's coming into your life you are attracting into your life. And it's attracted to you by virtue of the images you're holding in your mind. It's what you're thinking.

Whatever is going on in your mind you are attracting to you.”

Isn’t it incredible, people from different backgrounds speaking the same language, sharing the same mantra? The power of positive thinking, armored with Belief and Faith, let you achieve what you always wanted.

I am certain that when a person really wants something in life he/she WILL get it. Once a thought manifests itself in our mind and soul, we make it happen, make it real, there is just no stopping! Such potent are desire, faith and hope, they don’t let you fail.

Not a “Weakday” this Thursday!

Cheers !!

I would rather cry

People are under this assumption that is just so easy staying away from home, they feel that I am enjoying myself to the core, great office, good friends, dinners and night-outs and trips to all places close by.

Moment of truth all you ignorant fools, I don't tell people I love I miss them, beacuse that will just hurt them more, I don't say I am couting days as they will get their hopes all high and I don't want to disappoint them.

This is what my routine is, I wake up early every day so I can catch a few precious phone minutes with my husband, get ready, go to office, try to come early but land up staying late in office, thus missing the call to India, my family back there is sound asleep when I come back home here. Then I cook for the night and the next day, as you don't get vegetarian food everywhere.

SA is not a safe place, public transport is close to Nil, and nobody ventures out post 6.00 PM, the only time we go out is when we need to stock up food for the coming week. I am an independant person, I would travel alone then ask someone to drive me around.

There isn't much to do, so yes, I watch movies whenever I can, I take a trip to just go out. I am guilty of making the best of everything I have, I don't have a choice. All these happy getaways are just my way of coping up.

Anyway, ranting always feels good. I need to get back to my perfect life again.

Hope & Pray that you don't have such ignorant fools in your lives.

Luv
-D

Friends

Apart from being one of my favorite sit-coms, its also a word that defines so many of my relationships. Being a single child, I have found a shoulder to cry on, someone to tease, kick etc etc with my buddies.

Sometimes I am guilty of valuing my friends more than my family.. The best thing about friends is that they don't judge, they are fine if you don't stay in touch 24/7, they will support you in all your crazy , good for nothing ventures, they can be happy, sad, angry, jealous, frustrated at you, for you, with you, whichever without changing the dynamics of the relation.

I guess they are our home away from home, they are the element which make any strange new city feel like the best place to be, ah well they can make you feel like a superperson or a complete idiot with equal ease. The best thing about them is that they want the best for you and will let you know if you are thinking of anything less.

I miss them, each one of them, and I take comfort in knowing that if and when they read this, they will know it was them I was writing about.. Guys and Gals thanks for just being there.. Someday, I will write about each one of you.. just joking! Relax

-Adios

I used to hate that

Sometimes in life you witness something and at first glance & you hate it and then you see it again and somehow its not that repulsive anymore, with repeated encounters you actually start liking it. The ugliness starts making sense and then you wonder why didn't I like it in the first place!

Life is like that, somehow you learn to tolerate misgivings and faults, you learn to forgive and forget, you learn to let go, you learn it never mattered.

Love is like that it teaches you patience, its an opportunity to change willingly, its doing all those crazy things that you would have never thought of.

Friendship is like that you can be yourself and not feel sorry about it, you can trust someone, take someone for granted and thats just a part of it..

Do I live in the past

This very unpleasant thought stuck me out of nowhere and I started to wonder if I actually live in the past. For those of you who don't know me, I have lived in about 8 cities, some may find it funny but, I have a best friend from each school I have attended, and yes, I am still in touch with them.

Now, the thing is each new place I go to, or each new face I meet, I see a reflection of something or someone I already knew! Like us geeks would say, they are these common patterns which just keep repeating themselves. Its freaky. Its like living your life in the same dimension all over again and again. Do I have a problem letting go? I don't know because there are these characters I don't even recollect and then there are some who just don't disappear no matter how hard I try.

However there are some patterns which are not matched afterall, thank God for small mercies, I do run into people who can't be boxed into any personality I knew before, but seriously, I am just 26 and I already feel I have met them all, well almost so to say.

I am not sure if I live in the past, present or future, I do know that observing people has always been my favorite hobby, and just for my sake, lets just say I am taking myself too seriously?

Have a great weekend !
Cheers.

tell me again, why am I here?

All day I try to please
smile through my lonliness
smile through my losses
secretly happy that its one day less

I try to find a face in the crowd
meet and then fade away
can't the moment just stop
so that you can be in it with me

Is this the price we pay
the compromise we need to make
to make our dreams come true

tell me again, why am I here?
tell me again, I have to know
it seemed so long ago
when I heard it the last time
tell me again..

Are you attracted to someone?

Its insane, attraction I mean, how do two people get attracted to one another? Whats the science behind it? Is it the looks, the attitude, the aptitude, or just an amalgamation of all of those?

People ask me about my husband and me, how did we land up getting married to each other, its simple, we are opposites, I think of him as a Monk, calm, quiet, peaceful, not that impulsive, takes a lot to make him jump off his seat. He is like a rock, solid, like an anchor - unmoved by any strong currents.

Look at me, I am impulsive, dreamer, live each day at the time, there is nothing constant about anything I do, routine sucks for me, I laugh easily, cry with equal ease, I am self admitted Drama Queen..

So what brought us together? I wont call it fate, it was more than that, its that feeling which tells you that yes you can spend the rest of your life with the person, being yourself.

Well.. on a closing note, I hope there were a formula for this phenomenon called Attraction, but until some genius figures that one out, lets just say its magic, no one knows why, but yes, it very much exists!

Adios!

Happy faces

Something made me google for 'Happy Faces', checked the image results and you know what, the results were pretty surprising.

Most of the images were the Smiley yellow faces, the emoticons which have become an enternal part of our cyber lives, the other pics were of kids or dogs.

Its not surprising to see kids smiling, what amused me is the fact that there were no pics of adults smiling out there, weird, why do we become so serious?

It reminds me of an incident few years ago, I was supposed to meet my friends near a certain Petrol station in Bangalore, we were heading out for a day at the amusement park, and though I had stayed in B'lore for more than 6 yrs then, I landed up at the wrong place, so stuck there, while I called my friends and let them identify where I was, cursing myself all the time, a lady sitting her big car called out to me, my immediate thought was that if she was asking about directions, then she reached out to the wrong person, how can someone lost guide anyone else?

Thinking and smiling, ready to tell her that I am lost and can't help her, I moved close to rolled down car window, when this lady smiles at me and says, "you looked so happy, I just wanted to say Hi" , shocked, amused, I smiled even more, wished her a nice day and then moved back to the spot where I was standing awaiting my friends..

This little episode is very close to my heart, whenever I am a bit sad or low, I just relive the moment.. It never fails to bring back a smile onto my face, boy if I can look happy while lost, I can be happy period.

Maybe thats what missing in so many adult's lives, this little bit of happiness, we are looking out for bills, needs, wants, money, that we forget about the little things that count.

Here is to making them count and looking forward to more happy faces..

Cheers!

Just a list of things I wouldn't tell u

Things I wouldn’t tell you

1.       I hate confrontations, even if I haven’t wronged, I would rather walk away then spend my time arguing, discussing or debating.

2.       I love blue, so much so that I have to instruct people from not letting me buy any blue color clothes or other stuff

3.       I want to be an artist of some sort, I want to touch lives in a way that only art can

4.       Clear night skies spike me, I can stare at the stars all night long

5.       I pray whenever I can, I thank whenever I can

6.       I do not regret any choice, good or bad, they help me learn

7.       I envy people who make friends easily, it takes me time

8.       I would rather do everything myself than ask

9.       I fear losing people I love

10.   I love walking in the rain, makes my day, anyday

11.   If I had to be an animal I would be a butterfly

12.   I am not a foodie, I eat to live & not live to eat

13.   Though I love my dessert, I will spend more time on dessert than main course

14.   I still shiver when I think of my first kiss, the memory still sends a chill down my spine

15.   I read till my eyes start watering

16.   If today is my last day, I wouldn’t mind

17.   If today is end of world, I will call everyone I know for a party at my place for a party

18.   I am a socializer, I love being with people.

19.   I do not flirt, but enjoy receiving attention

20.   I have to keep learning something new all the time, there is an insatiable thirst

21.   Of all the features, I love my eyes the most, they never lie

22.   Someone lied to me and broke my trust so bad, it took me years to regain trust in people

23.   I try to accept people the way they are, it’s too much of a pain to make them change

24.   My favorite flowers are lilies, yellow ones, they are so beautiful, so full of life

25.   I abhor strong smells, just can’t stand flower scents esp. rose and jasmine

26.   My idea of a perfect date is on a beach, clear skies with sparkling stars, slight breeze, a low level table, sitting on the floor, candle light, and sound of guitar.

27.   I find laughter infectious

28.   I love laughing at myself

29.   I feel at home at the bookstore